I know I’ve been absent for a really long time and I’m sorry. Over these past few months, I’ve received many encouraging and heartfelt messages from you. I’ve had some people say they admire me for being strong. Truth is, I don’t feel strong – I actually feel the opposite: weak. I’ve been absent because I don’t know how to face the people that believed in me. How do I tell the people that think I’m strong, that I’m scared beyond belief? How do I tell them that I haven’t accomplished anything and don’t deserve to be looked up to?
Sometimes I get so discouraged that I don’t feel like leaving my bed. Sometimes I get so hyped that I get absorbed into doing anything and everything. Sometimes I don’t care and feel like giving up. Sometimes I care too much and stress about everything.
I always give out advice and encouragement, but how credible am I if I don’t follow my own suggestions? Maybe I’m being too hard on myself or maybe I’m doing something wrong.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel down and allow yourself to grieve. We’re human and we have emotions. I learned a very valuable lesson from Inside Out: we can’t experience happiness without sadness. (If you haven’t watched it, you definitely should. Just make sure you have tissues handy)
So now repeat after me:
Just because we feel defeated, doesn’t mean we are defeated. The path isn’t always clear, but it’ll lead somewhere.
We got this 💪🏽